Grace

Christianity teaches us that grace is unmerited favor from God. Other religions view grace in slightly different ways. But I'm not interested in preaching or proselytizing.

One of my most favorite books is "The Unmistakable Touch of Grace" by Cheryl Richardson. I haven't read it in a while, but one of the key points I took from the book is that grace is abundant in our lives if only we are open to seeing it. In the darkest, most difficult moments in my life, I make a conscience effort to look for grace in my daily life. Witnessing grace makes me smile, it warms me, it gives me hope. You see, grace is simply unmerited love...regardless from whence it comes.

Grace to me is not a Christian tenet. It's a philosophy. Grace is indeed God speaking to us, teaching us a lesson...though not verbally. Grace avails itself to everyone, whatever their belief system. Does the atheist see the news footage of the dog in New York traffic standing fearlessly beside his canine friend who's been struck by a car and not feel anything? If he does, that's grace. If he doesn't, he's just emotionally stunted.

As I left a client's house today, exiting through the garage, I thought to myself, "Now, that's grace." Carolyn and I worked together two years ago planning and producing her twin boys' bar mitzvahs and became fast friends in the process. I've seen her only occasionally since then, so we had some catching up to do. She is a widow, having lost her husband to cancer when the boys were young. After Jerry's death, she took over his business and it prospered. In August 2008 she sold the business. We all know what happened two months later--the bottom fell out of the market and businesses began to suffer. Her decision to sell the business is grace. Some may be inclined to call it luck, credit it to savvy CPA's, attribute it to coincidence. I call it grace. She then began working as a medical sales rep and has created, through grace, a successful career.

Now, the logical question is...how did I find grace in hearing her story? You see, my business has suffered because of the recession. I filed bankruptcy in August and am in the process of closing the business. It has been a punch to the gut for me...my pride has been wounded...my friendships and my faith have been tested. Carolyn called me yesterday (out of the blue--my translation: grace) and said she needed some help decorating her house for Christmas. Yeah, you caught that earlier reference to her sons' bar mitzvahs, right? Grace.

Hearing Carolyn's journey gave me hope that, through trials, through dark, dark days and nights, I will be fine.

Throughout my ordeal, I have actively sought grace and I have found it in the strangest of places. I found it on Twitter. I could tune out my problems and just be my usual silly self without having to talk about the difficulties I am having to deal with. One of the first people I met on Twitter was Jeff. I don't remember who began following whom. He and his partner and his Lily are a part of my family and I cherish them. (Strange concept for the non-Tweeters, I know, but like I said earlier, grace manifests itself in strange ways.)

Mary is another of my Twitter friends. Mary was in town last summer for a class reunion and we scheduled a Tweet-up. (Again, for you non-Tweeters, that's an in-real-life meeting.) I pulled up to the hotel to pick her up for dinner and was met by a retinue of her former classmates who demanded to know where we were going, when we would be back. Mary made me laugh and continues to be a special part of my life.

There are more Twitter friends...Pam, Ted, Carole, Tony, Stephanie, Chassidy, Susan, Nadia, Laura and more...all of whom are special to me for very specific reasons. I would give anything to be at a cocktail party with all of them.

In-real-life friends are the ones who keep me grounded. Kathie makes me homemade pretzels, shares my love of animals and snarkiness, and inspires me with her faith. Dalton, who invites me over for gin and tonics though she can't imbibe because of the chemo and radiation she's having to endure after her double mastectomy, is worried about me. Grace is Dalton's worrying about ME. Christi is my oldest friend (sadly, her reading this post will be her first knowledge of my business failure) who knows me best. Just knowing her is grace. Sherrye knows all my warts and I hers. Sara Emma and Cathy I love for their gentleness, snarkiness, and unwavering solidarity. My parents are my heroes--their faith, their lives, their support, their unconditional love are grace.

And I'm not so self-absorbed to see grace as a gift TO me. I am aware that I have been the purveyor of grace in other people's lives...and sometimes I don't give myself enough credit. But grace is selfless. It's given without the prospect of acknowledgment. Grace is indeed salvation. It's love. Whatever the source.